Colorblind

I love this song, It's relevant at the moment because to me its about being yourself and letting go of everything thats holding you back. This video was made by students at the New York film academy. I think I'd like to make a video clip of some sort in the near future, just for fun, probably not to this song but to just anything really. Maybe that can be my newest project.

Clean Out

Today I removed all of the books, notepads, magazines and photo albums out of the right side of my bed. I let it get cluttered so it didn't feel so big and empty, but for the past few nights, it's really just been uncomfortable. I don't need any of those things anymore. I went through my draws and found all the letters, movies/museum exhibitions/flights and a billion other types of tickets, travel pamphlets as well as a wooden ice cream spoon, bracelet, photos and finally a zoo map. I didn't have the heart to throw them away (though at one point I was tempted), after all they were good memories but I don't want them lingering around me anymore to the point that I might start to resent them. So I grabbed a plastic sleeve and popped them all into a Tiffany's bag I had and stored it up in the back of my wardrobe. It feels good to be really getting on with things, theres so much to enjoy and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit on my nostalgic ass and wish over the past. It was fun while it lasted but its gone now and I'm not waiting around for it to come back.

Skinny Love

This is probably one of my favourite songs. The original is just perfect but this cover is also really nice by an artist called Birdy (my friend posted it on fb). The lyrics to all of Bon Iver's songs are really meaningful, you may have noticed I'm a lyrics fanatic, If the words don't mean anything I guess I'm not really interested in the song. This song means a lot to me.



By the way, the original Bon Iver version is on my playlist.

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Friends

Some of them I haven't seen in a while, particularly my best male friend - A. It was so good to catch up with him yesterday, he knows me too well sometimes though. He asked me how I'd been and I told him  things for the last month have been a bit shaky but otherwise I'm great. I didn't particularly want to have an D&M at my friends b'day party so I just left it there. But then he brought up everything again and you know when you just have those people you cannot hide stuff from no matter how hard you try. Well, he's one of those,  I couldn't really stop the tears, it was only little but I think its understandable the day after a funeral.  I feel really happy most of the time now, its just been a really hard week.

Last night was the highlight that made up for all of it though, went out and partied like there was no tomorrow (in true James Walker style) and had such a great time.  Things will be better from here on in, I think I can say last week was the worst of it and I'm just glad its behind me now. I feel like I've coped as best I can. Especially thanks to having my friends around me, I'm so glad for so many people coming  back into my life even as some have left it. To all my friends, (you probably wont read this) I love you all so much and am so thankful to have such great people around me.

by the way, all my love was taken except one :)
Thank you Kitty Allison for the pictures.

Bed

Tonight I did have an 18th to go too, but I've decided against it unfortunately. It's been a really long day and I'm working early tomorrow morning so I wouldn't be able to go out partying after anyway, I'd just be there eating all the food & cake which wouldn't get me anywhere in terms of fitness.  I really just want to chill out tonight.

I just wish I wasn't alone. All my family are at the Walker's for the night having drinks and whatnot..I'd love to just have someone here to lay in my bed and have a stimulating conversation with me. We'd just chillout and talk about interesting things like musician's & bands we've heard and wish we could hear live, places we've been and want to go, art and sites we've seen and want to see, things we've eaten and want to eat  probably all while eating ice cream or lindt chocolates ..or both haha. But yeah, times like these, admittedly I am a bit on the lonely side. I'll probably just sit in my bed, listen to Sia and read, what a riveting Friday night. Dear person that reads this...if there is anyone...wanna come over and talk to me??

Tomorrow

Is going to be one hell of a day, I'm working late tonight.
I have to get up tomorrow at an unholy hour to catch a train to Uni, then hand in an important assignment that I'm hoping I've done enough to pass with. At 2pm I have James's funeral after which I'll probably go back to the Walker's for an hour or so, unfortunately they don't live near by so thats a tad inconvenient. Then I'll drive home only to get ready for an 18th which I doubt I'll be in the mood for.
Tiredness plus grief probably is not a good combination, but we'll see how I go.
Bring on the weekend!

On the positive side - My friend told me that all except one of my Love. tabs were taken from my poster on the notice board over the weekend.
She took a photo for me so that'll be up in the near future :)

Gee

My friend was right, I felt a bit crappy today so I went for a jog and felt so much better after. My dad always said to me exercise was a great way to just clear your head. I'm going to keep this up and hopefully not only will I be happier, I'll also be getting fit. I'm not saying I'm unhappy normally by any means. But when I do feel down, I'll know exactly what to do.  I've really been focusing on getting fit again anyway so this will only help me along the way.

They all represent aspirations for the moment.

1. Being graceful like Audrey 2. Regaining my confidence 3. Freedom & appreciation for simplicity 4. Wanderlust, getting to Greece 5. Beauty in the small things 6. Getting back into food/cooking that makes me happy.

Carpe Diem

This year has been so eventful. Already so much has happened. It's hard to make sense of it but all I can think is;
Carpe Diem
"Seize the day"
Don't waste a second being miserable because life is so short and you never know, everything can be taken from you in a split second. I'm getting through the challenging times with this thought and in a way I'm glad for the events that have turned me back around to be myself again.

1+2. pretty things. 3. Daffodils, I loved them as a little girl. 4. Mineral water and rye bread is my daily ritual at the moment. 5. Kombucha, a strange fermented tea that I'm obsessed with. 6 +7. The ocean reminds me of Greece which has been on my mind.  8.  Seth & Summer I used to identify with them. 9. Reminds me of the baby elephant I loved at Taronga Zoo. 10. Self Explanatory. 11. My favourite flower lilies. 

James Walker

Today I lost one of my closest family friends, I've grown up with the Walker family. They've been a part of my life since since I was born. Alex (the youngest of the walker boys) and I were best friends all throughout primary school. James was the eldest of the boys and sadly passed away last night. James was always the spirited and opinionated one, he knew exactly how to make people laugh and how to push anyones buttons. He taught me how to "smoke" with my asthma puffer and how to do a real bomb into the pool.

I've never been confronted with death so close to me before. Saying goodbye to him today was one of the hardest things I've ever done. In death he looked so peaceful, just as if he was asleep, the only way you could tell death had touched him was because of the blueish tinge to his face.

James, you were too young, I'm glad that you're not in any pain anymore. It doesn't feel like you're gone, your big personality will never fade.Thank you for being a part of my life.

Lots of Love
E.

God looked down on your body,
So tired from hanging on,
From a life that was overwhelming you,
And wanted back His son.
So he took away the air you breathe,
And gave you what was best,
A place to be at peace,
A final place to rest.

Bon Iver

Cannot wait for his new album to be released!!

Listen to Calgary HERE

Someone Like You

Wow. I just heard someone like you by ADELE for the first time. I knew it was a heartbreaking song hence why I avoided it. I can't believe how well ADELE can relate to her listeners, I've always loved her but this song couldn't be more like what I'm going through. It's enough to make me teary but I also feel hopeful because I know things are working out for me, with or without.

I heard

That you're settled down

That you

Found a girl

And you're

Married now

I heard

That your dreams came true.

Guess she gave you things

I didn't give to you

Old friend

Why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back

Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over

Never mind

I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

"Don't forget me," I begged

"I'll remember," you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead."

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead,

Yeah.

You know how the time flies

Only yesterday

It was the time of our lives

We were born and raised

In a summer haze

Bound by the surprise

Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over.

Never mind

I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

"Don't forget me," I begged

"I'll remember," you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares

No worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes

They are memories made.

Who would have known

How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind

I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

"Don't forget me," I begged

"I'll remember," you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead"

Never mind

I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

"Don't forget me," I begged

"I'll remember," you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead"

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead 

My Love

I gave my love away to people that want it. I said I was going to post the picture and I did today on a notice board at Uni. Hopefully nobody removes it to make room for a couch sale but we'll see.

please note: The photo quality isn't great because my phone camera is stuffed.

Feel like laughing.

Found so many things that have made me laugh lately and came across this video my friend posted on Facebook. This guy is obviously high and tripping out over a "Double Rainbow". Some you of you may not find this funny but personally I find it FUCKING HILARIOUS.

chat roulette

I laughed quite a bit.

I'm going to do this;

Sorry for all the love posts as of late. Given my circumstances I guess it was inevitable to be thinking about it a lot and what is a blog if not a place for our thoughts? I've decided I am going to do this; I'll post it at Uni and see if anyone wants some of my love. I have a lot to give.

300 Letters of Love

A project designed to break down the lack of intimacy in the world. 300 love letters all to different people stuck onto the front of envelopes sent,  even for the postman to see. Things like this make my day and reinforce my love for humanity. People can be horrible and there's a lot of nasty things to say for us, but in the end we all feel, think about and breath in hope of finding LOVE. here it is.

Made by Hannah Allison

This was made for me way back when I'd had my heart broken for the first time. Its funny I should find it now after all these years just when I need it most. Check out those hideous fringes hah

As of late

1. Breakfast 2. Street Art   3. Never Let Me Go  4. Cruel Intentions 5. Bon Iver & ADELE 6. Suffering from extreme Wanderlust 7. My idols, Audrey Hepburn & Natalie Portman